People view dating after a divorce in different ways. For some, the hurt of a marriage falling apart is so heartfelt that there is no consideration of dating soon after the dissolution. For others, though, a divorce marks a time to move on. Some people even date before the divorce is final. There is no right or wrong answer as to how you should conduct yourself, however, there are things to note and remember.
Many people feel they are free to begin a relation with a new acquaintance at the moment the the couple decides to divorce. It is probably best, though, for you (as well as your family) to avoid the dating scene until after the divorce process has been completed and finalized.
Emotions are often high-strung between both spouses throughout the divorce proceedings. Your spouse may be hurt, angry, or embarrassed to find you are dating someone new so quickly, especially if they are still clinging emotionally to the marriage. A new partner on the scene so soon after the divorce process has been initiated may even raise questions as to whether the relationship really began as an affair.
Although marital misconduct is not a factor in alimony claims or property division in the state of Colorado, your spouse may seek vengance during the give-and-take negotiations of the divorce process by battling vigorously over how to split the marital estate, or worse, the custody of the children.
If you have children, it is especially vital to keep cordial relations with your spouse, as you will ideally still need to be in constant contact during and after the divorce. Dating during the dissolution process may negatively impact the spirit of cooperation needed between both spouses.
Your spouse may feel the need to let the court know that you are currently dating. While this doesn’t make you out to be a bad parent automatically, it may suggest you are thinking of your own interests at a time when you should be concentrating on helping your children deal with such a trying situation. Child psychologists do not recommend introducing a new person in the lives of children until they have closure and have accepted the finality of the divorce.
If you still wish to pursue a relationship with someone new even before the divorce has been finalized, at least take some precautions to reduce the risks of negatively affecting the divorce process. First of all, avoid introducing your new partner to your children until you truly believe they are ready for it—and preferably until custody has been resolved. You should also avoid frequenting places where you are likely to run into your children, your spouse, and your spouse’s family and friends. Finally, discuss your relationship with your lawyer in case there are any other potential complications that you may not have considered.